fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
