first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
