They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Who died my cat blue again?
This toilet bowl is my home.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
