Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
