You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
