You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
