i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
