my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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