He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
