He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
