his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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