my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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