Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it was like eating out sand paper
worst night to have a conscience
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
