Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
