This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
