I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
