I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
