There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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