She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
