I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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