$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
