I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
