The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
