this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
