i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
