wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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