Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
