Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
