She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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