More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
