I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
