How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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