dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
