i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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