Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
