Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
