it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
