Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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