i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
