Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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