Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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