Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How does one acquire holy water?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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