my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
