so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
