i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
vagina is talking i cant
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
