...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
