i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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