you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
