Where is the hickey?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've blown a few things in my day
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
