So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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